PROBLEM #8 - FASHIONABLY LATE

Okay, so our beloved friend Ben Surace is pisssssssssing off to France for a year, and he had a little farewell get together at his humble abode on Saturday afternoon. We decided, as the invite stated, to arrive at 3:30pm, unfortunately traffic got the better of us and we did not arrive until approximately 3:31pm................... perfect timing.... or so we thought.

We knock on the front door eager as beavers to be welcomed in by the lovely Surace family. Little did we know, that the host himself was M.I.A aka getting last minute prawns...
By the time the man of the hour himself arrived, he came home to find the two of us in his lovely pool, besties with Nana Surace, getting served salmon balls by the pool, and drinking cruisers in the pool .........redefined the term "make yourself at home"

Speaking of making yourself at home, Cacks was housesitting this weekend for a lovely family in order to keep the cat alive and healthy. However, on Saturday night after the farewell (and many drinks) the house was declared "The Open House of Lane Cove"
By Sunday morning, the house represented a brothel rather than a family abode. and in a strange twist of events the cat ended up having to take care of us..................
Lets just say the cleanup wasnt exactly a walk in the park.

- the beds were covered in fake tan (thanks to max, holly, jen and cacks) ...and who knows what else (thanks to ben powell)
- bottle caps left right and center
- cheese smeared all over the benches
- family computer filled up with porn
- practically all the cutlery covered in cheese, salsa, lettuce and weed
- childs trampoline turned into a junkie den

So, in conclusion. Need a housesitter? call Cacks on 1300 lordofthecats

PROBLEM #7 - THIS GUY

PROBLEM #6 - AVATAR BLUE BALLS

So, on new years day we were all revved up and excited for a Day in the Field, ready to get drunk, get crunk etc etc... when........ a "good friend" calls us up with some GREAT NEWS! - unmarked, unnamed big blue balls (pharmaceuticals) that were a bittttt pricey but were "guaranteed to blow our minds"..... little did we know she actually meant they would put A HOLE IN OUR BRAINS.

Already sweating like we standing under Vesuvius, we thought we would kick start the day with a few drinks and a few pharmaceuticals which we have come to call - Avatar (they were blue... and big... and fucked up)

Symptoms of the Avatar -
1) permanent feeling of bugs crawling all over our noses, resulting in constant scratching and looking/feeling like an ice addict
2) uncontrollable crying when we got home (at 10:30 because jen got 3D motion sickness... shouldnt have taken off those glasses...)
3) green vomit that lingers in the throat for a good 5 hours before finally rising up the throat passage and finally exploding (......kind of like Ben Powell)
4) dialated pupils that are bigger than avatars themselves

Despite the fact that these "pingaz" were more expensive than your average Ben Powell, they did NOT as promised do anything beneficial. They only made us feel like shit and like we had wasted time and effort (similar to Ben Powell)

So, for all you youngens out there.. steer clear from blue, unmarked, oversized pills. They'll getcha ...............and always remember, stay away from a man who calls himself

"Ben Matthew Jaćob Powell"